Nostalgia

Months before I would be blessed.

Granted the wish of kissing his lips every now and then, more over to hug him and even share his bed.

Months before now I could hold onto him at night and feel safe. 

Feel the way his breathing will touch my neck or my chest.

Months before now I was granted permission to have full sight of him, his body, his manners.

To have full ears to his words, his laughs, his sighs, even his complaints and his yells where heaven to me.

Months before now, i was able to accompany him, to be by his side, to feel my way into his hair or his clothes...

Now before those months turn into years... I reminisce on his presence, on how huge the lack of him is swelling in my life. 

I feel how those memories creep back into my mind all day long, since I was gone...

And even now, months away from the last time I embraced him... I can feel his arms around me, and his voice in my ear while my tears welled up in my eyes on that last farewell... 

And I just keep missing him so...

I keep loving him so...

The feeling won't let me rest. These memories need to be laid down. And I need to see him one more time.

I hope I see him one more time. 

And I pray to God I can be by his side longer than before. 

So this nostalgia would never again come back to me...